Funny New Year Quotes

Funny Happy New Year Quotes

What’s more than to start a new beginning with a bit of humour. There are many comical aspects the New Year brings with it. A little humour on New Year’s wishes can make everything better. So let the poets, authors, and comedians help you make your dear ones laugh this holiday season with these undeniably funny Happy New Year’s quotes.

Send some sarcastic or hilarious New Year Quotes to your close ones and make them laugh their heart out.

30 Funny Happy New Year Quotes

“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”

– Oscar Wilde

“What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year.”

– Vern McLellan

“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.”

– Anonymous

“Last year’s resolution was to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. Only 30 pounds to go.”

– Anonymous

“May the New Year bring you significantly more joy than the holidays did.”

– Anonymous

“Happy New Year! Let’s eat, drink, and be merry — for tomorrow we diet!”

– Anonymous

“All I wish this new eve comes with a lot of joys for you since you look ugly while crying. Happy New Year!”

– Anonymous

“May this New Year bring actual change in you, nor recurrence of old habits in a new package.”

– Anonymous

“I think I made too many New Year’s resolutions this year. It took me almost a full day to break them all.”

– Anonymous

“An optimist stays up till midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”

– Bill Vaughn

“Here’s to a new year doing the same old habits.”

– Anonymous

“Remember when we were young and wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and all we want to do is sleep.”

– Anonymous

“Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.”

– Anonymous

“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Now there are more overweight people in America than average – weight people. So overweight people are now average…which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.”

– Jay Leno

“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self – assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.”

– Eric Zorn

“An optimist stays up till midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”

– Bill Vaughn

“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.”

– Anonymous

“It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.”

– William Thomas

“Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.”

– John Selden

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?

– Ogden Nash

“My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.”

– Anonymous

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!”

– Joey Adams

A new year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

– Unknown

“A cat’s New Year dream is mostly a bird! Don’t be like a cat; in your New Year dream something that you have never dreamed. Target for new things.”

– Mehmet Murat Ildan

“My New Year’s Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds.”

– Nia Vardalos

“Out with the old, in with the new” is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.

– Andy Borowitz

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.”

– Anonymous

Every New Year’s I have the same question: “How did I get home?”

– Melanie White


My New Year’s Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds.

– Nia Vardalos

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

– Oprah Winfrey
Funny New Year Quotes

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