Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

A day break from all seriousness won’t hot a fly Jack — there’s no crime in having fun on Valentine’s day with your loved ones. Crack jokes, send some hilarious Valentine’s Day themed quotes and let them have a good laugh.

We have gathered some funny Valentine’s Day quotes below to lift your mood, check out a few of these.

20 Short and Funny Valentine’s Day quotes

“Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.”

– David Letterman

“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”

– Oscar Wilde

“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?”

– Lily Tomlin

‘You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.’

– Dr. Seuss

“I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV”

– Tracy Smith

“If you can stay in love for more than two years you’re on something”

– Fran Lebowitz

“Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.”

– Jay Leno

‘If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.’

– Alfred Thompson

“If you‘re alone during Valentine’s day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred pounds”

– Unknown

“Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January.”

– Jim Gaffigan

“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days”

– Tim Allen

“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”

– Phyllis Diller

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”

– Charles M. Schulz

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.”

– Henry Kissinger

I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once

– John Green

Because of you, I can feel myself slowly but surely becoming the me I have always dreamed of being

– Tyler Knott Gregson

Your lips are like wine, and I want to get drunk – William Shakespeare The best thing to hold onto in life is each other

– Audrey Hepburn

“Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.”

– Lewis Black

‘The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.

They must be felt with the heart.’

– Helen Keller

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”

– Jules Renard

5 Hilarious Valentine Day Quote

I love you. I am who I am because of you.

You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life – The Notebook Your love is better than chocolate.

Better than anything else that I’ve tried

– Sarah McLachlan

You have bewitched me, body and soul – Mr. Darcy, Pride & Prejudice

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you

– A. A. Milne

“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”

– Anonymous

I can’t wear it
on my sleeve,
or tell you from
the bottom of it
how I feel. Here,
it’s all yours, now—
but you’ll have
to take me,

—Rita Dove

‘We are all a little weird.

And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love. True love.’

– Robert Fulghum
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

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