Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

– David Letterman

“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”

– Oscar Wilde

“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?”

– Lily Tomlin

‘You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.’

– Dr. Seuss

“I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV”

– Tracy Smith

“If you can stay in love for more than two years you’re on something”

– Fran Lebowitz

“Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.”

– Jay Leno

‘If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.’

– Alfred Thompson

“If you‘re alone during Valentine’s day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred pounds”

– Unknown

“Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January.”

– Jim Gaffigan

“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days”

– Tim Allen

“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”

– Phyllis Diller

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”

– Charles M. Schulz

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.”

– Henry Kissinger

I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once

– John Green

Because of you, I can feel myself slowly but surely becoming the me I have always dreamed of being

– Tyler Knott Gregson

Your lips are like wine, and I want to get drunk – William Shakespeare The best thing to hold onto in life is each other