Get the most Funny Animal Questions and Answers Jokes for kids, adult, family and friends from our list of all animals.
Funny Animal Q&A Jokes
Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can’t tuna fish.
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
A: A meowntain
Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A: USB (United States of Bees)
Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because he’s always spotted!
Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?
A: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A: To the Baa Baa shop!
Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A: Bugs Bunny!
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Tentacles.
Q: How do spiders communicate?
A: Through the World Wide Web.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
A: Kitty Perry
Q: How do you catch a fish without a fishing pole?
A: With your BEAR hands.
Q: Are you from Narnia?
A: ‘coz you sure make my lion roar.
Q: Wanna go on a picnic?
A: Alpaca lunch.
Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.
Q: What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
A: Chicken Caeser Salad (Chicken Sees A Salad)
Q: Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn’t change colour?
A: He had a reptile disfunction.
Q: What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?
A: Autotuna
Best Animal Jokes
- Only Smart People Will Get This: 2+2= Fish, 3+3= Eight, 7+7= Triangle, 4+4 = Arrow, 8+8 = Butterfly
- Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
- I invited a teddy bear to dinner yesterday. I offered him some food but he said no thanks I’m stuffed.
Hilarious Animal Jokes
Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
A: To the retail store.
Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: What has four legs and an arm?
A: A happy pit bull.
Q: Why is a tree like a dog?
A: Because they both lose their bark when they die.
Q: Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
A: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.
Q: Did you hear about the new breed in pet shops?
A: They crossed a pit bull with a collie; it bites your leg off and goes for
help.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!
Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.
Q: Why did chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?
A: To break on through to the other side.
Q: Why do birds fly South?
A: Because it’s too far to walk.
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.
Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
A: To a crow bar.
Q: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?
A: He was going to make a long-distance caw.