Funny Animal Jokes for Big Laughs

Funny Animal Jokes

Get the most Funny Animal Questions and Answers Jokes for kids, adult, family and friends from our list of all animals.

Funny Animal Q&A Jokes

Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can’t tuna fish.

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
A: A meowntain

Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A: USB (United States of Bees)

Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because he’s always spotted!

Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?
A: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!

Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A: To the Baa Baa shop!

Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

A: Bugs Bunny!

Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Tentacles.

Q: How do spiders communicate?
A: Through the World Wide Web.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
A: Kitty Perry

Q: How do you catch a fish without a fishing pole?
A: With your BEAR hands.

Q: Are you from Narnia?
A: ‘coz you sure make my lion roar.

Q: Wanna go on a picnic?
A: Alpaca lunch.

Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.

Q: What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
A: Chicken Caeser Salad (Chicken Sees A Salad)

Q: Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn’t change colour?
A: He had a reptile disfunction.

Q: What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?
A: Autotuna

Best Animal Jokes

  1. Only Smart People Will Get This: 2+2= Fish, 3+3= Eight, 7+7= Triangle, 4+4 = Arrow, 8+8 = Butterfly
  2. Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
  3. I invited a teddy bear to dinner yesterday. I offered him some food but he said no thanks I’m stuffed.

Hilarious Animal Jokes

Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
A: To the retail store.

Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog.

Q: What has four legs and an arm?
A: A happy pit bull.

Q: Why is a tree like a dog?
A: Because they both lose their bark when they die.

Q: Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
A: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.

Q: Did you hear about the new breed in pet shops?
A: They crossed a pit bull with a collie; it bites your leg off and goes for

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!

Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.

Q: Why did chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?
A: To break on through to the other side.

Q: Why do birds fly South?
A: Because it’s too far to walk.

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.

Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
A: To a crow bar.

Q: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?
A: He was going to make a long-distance caw.

Q: What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest?
A: Look at the orange mama laid.

Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately.

Q: Why do hens lay eggs?
A: If they dropped them, they’d break.

Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels.

Q: Diner: Do you serve chicken here?
A: Waiter: Sit down, sir. We serve anyone.

Q: Diner: I can’t eat this chicken. Call the manager.
A: Waiter: It’s no use. He can’t eat it either.

Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
A: The outside.

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie, of course.

Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?
A: Chirpes. It’s one of those canarial diseases. I hear it’s untweetable.

Q: Why did the farmer name his pig ink?
A: Because he kept running ot of his pen

Best Animal Jokes

  • Alligator Jokes
  • Alpaca Jokes
  • Animal Football Joke
  • Animal Jokes
  • Ant Jokes
  • Antelope Jokes
  • Ape Jokes
  • Baboon Jokes
  • Baby Bears Jokes
  • Badger Jokes
  • Bat Jokes
  • Bear Jokes
  • Bee Jokes
  • Bird Jokes
  • Buffalo Jokes
  • Bug Jokes
  • Bunny Jokes
  • Bunny and the Bear Joke
  • Camel Jokes
  • Car Accident Joke
  • Caterpillar Jokes
  • Cat Jokes
  • Centipede Jokes
  • Cheetah Jokes
  • Chicken Jokes
  • Chimp Jokes
  • Chipmunk Jokes
  • Cork In Pig Jokes
  • Cougar Jokes
  • Cow Jokes
  • Cris Cross Jokes
  • Crocodile Jokes
  • Deadfish Joke
  • Deer Jokes
  • Dinosaur Jokes
  • Dogfight Joke
  • Dog Jokes
  • Dog Playing Chess Joke
  • Dolphin Jokes
  • Donkey Jokes
  • Door To Door Salesman Joke
  • Duck Jokes
  • Eagle Jokes
  • Elephant Jokes
  • Ferret Jokes
  • Fish Jokes
  • Flea Jokes
  • Flies Jokes
  • Fox Jokes
  • Frog Jokes
  • Giraffe Jokes
  • Goat Jokes
  • Gorilla Jokes
  • Grasshopper Jokes
  • Groundhog Jokes
  • Guinea Pig Jokes
  • Hamster Jokes
  • Handicap Parrot Joke
  • Hedgehog Joke
  • Hippopotamus Jokes
  • Horny Rooster Jokes
  • Horse Jokes
  • Hunting Dog Joke
  • Kangaroo Jokes
  • Koala Jokes
  • Lamb Jokes
  • Lemur Jokes
  • Lion Jokes
  • Lizard Jokes
  • Llama Jokes
  • Lion Wants Beer Joke
  • Magic Frog Jokes
  • Man With Penguin Joke
  • Management Lesson Joke
  • Marital Problems Joke
  • Meerkat Jokes
  • Mink Coat Joke
  • Mole Jokes
  • Monkey Jokes
  • Monkey Business Joke
  • Moose Jokes
  • Mosquito Jokes
  • Moth Jokes
  • Mouse Jokes
  • Movie Studio Goats Joke
  • Orangutan Jokes
  • Otter Jokes
  • Owl Jokes
  • Panda Jokes
  • Parrot Jokes
  • Penguin Jokes
  • Pig Jokes
  • Platypus Jokes
  • Polar Bear Jokes
  • Porcupine Jokes
  • Primate Jokes
  • Rabbit Jokes
  • Raccoon Jokes
  • Rat Jokes
  • Reindeer Jokes
  • Rhinoceros Jokes
  • Seagull Jokes
  • Seal Jokes
  • Shark Jokes
  • Sheep Jokes
  • Shrimp Jokes
  • Skunk Jokes
  • Sled Dog Jokes
  • Sloth Jokes
  • Slow Race Horse Joke
  • Slug Jokes
  • Smart Dog Joke
  • Snail Jokes
  • Snake Jokes
  • Spider Jokes
  • Squirrel Jokes
  • Stupid Bird Joke
  • Three Mice Joke
  • Three Legged Pig Joke
  • Tiger Jokes
  • Toad Jokes
  • Turtle Jokes
  • Turkey Jokes
  • Two Whales Joke
  • Unicorn Jokes
  • Walrus Joke
  • Whale Jokes
  • Wittle Wabbit Joke
  • Wolf Jokes
  • Woolly Mammoth Jokes
  • Worm Jokes
  • Yak Jokes
  • Zebra Jokes
  • Zebra’s Day With God Joke
  • Zoo Jokes
Funny Animal Jokes for Big Laughs