Funny Wedding Vows To Make You Laugh

Reading vows moment in marriage ceremony is one the most romantic and sacred aspect of a wedding. It gives the bride and groom all the time in the world to express their undying love and help give the guests an insight into the loving bond the husband and wife will share.  But who says you can’t be tender and funny at the same time? Add a bit of lighthearted fun into your wedding ceremony with a joke that’s sure to make your partner smile. Whether you poke fun at one of your own faults or hers, funny wedding vows can add a glimpse of real life into a fairytale setting.

In this post are samples of hilarious wedding vow ideas to get you started. They are witty and heartfelt at the same time, ideal for playful couples who have simple weddings. Happy married life ahead!

Short Funny Wedding Vows

I promise to find a tactful way to tell our guests we prefer cash over homeware.

I promise to laugh at all your jokes, even when I’m the only one.

I promise to let you win the occasional argument, even when I’m right.

I promise to open jars for you and pretend that you loosened it.

I promise to open the bedroom window when you are hot even if I am totally freezing.

I promise to pause the TV when you want to talk the entire way through.

I promise to take your side when our children inevitably attempt to gang up on us.

I promise to trust you when you ignore the sat nav because you know a short-cut.

I promise to wear this ring as a symbol of our love that I’ll absolutely lose at the gym.

I promise not to moan about visiting your parents at the weekend.

And lastly, I vow that I will choose you every day, a million times over, not because I have to, but because I want to.

As one volcano said to the other, I have a dream I hope will come true that you’ll grow old with me and I’ll grow old with you – I thank the earth, sea – the sky I thank too – I lava you.

Does this mean I have to stop referring to you by your last name?

I can’t wait to take your last name – I am going to totally steal your identity.

I could stand here and tell you how much I love you, but those words mean nothing unless they are shown through repeated little acts of devotion.

I love you, truly, madly, deeply… and I was thinking – maybe we should get married.

I love your stupid face and vow that I will put up with whatever you can throw at me—if you think you can put up with my mess.

I promise not to drink your drinks, even though I am thirsty and your drink is literally right there.

I promise not to make fun of the way you pack… or to second-guess your packing skills. Even if you shove things in the back of the car willy-nilly without considering how everything might fit.

I promise not to spend all our life savings during the January sales.

I promise not to take the first sip of your drink before giving it to you.

I promise not to turn the light on, open the curtains or deliberately clatter about when you have a hangover.

I promise that as your wife, I will not keep score, even though I am totally winning.

I promise that you will be as important to me as coffee, as chocolate, and as all the episodes of Grey’s put together.

I promise to agree that you really are the best driver on the road and always know exactly where you’re going.

I promise to always get rid of the spiders, even though I’m more scared than you.

Funny Wedding Vows To Make Him/Her Laugh

• I promise to always respect your choice of music in the car when you are driving. If you are not driving, however…
• I promise to be your co-pilot, your navigator, and to bring snacks on our road trip through life.
• I promise to buy you takeout for dinner every night because I love you too much to allow you to fall victim to my cooking.
• I promise to buy you your favourite chocolate when you’re sad (even if it takes two supermarket trips).
• I promise to comfort you when your football team loses… again.
• I promise to continue to make your friends jealous of our amazing relationship.
• I promise to embrace all your weird habits, even when you eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon.
• I promise to get up and get the remote from across the room, even if it was not I who placed the remote so very far away.
• I promise to hire a professional, even if I really want to try to do it (and probably make it worse) myself.
• I promise to let you know when you’re making a slight error in fashion judgement.
• I promise to listen to Hamilton with you about a million times, but I am not giving away my … shot.
• I promise to listen when you’re talking to me about sports, beer, or whatever you talk about, and not just look at my phone saying, ‘Hmm, yes, dear.’
• I promise to love you at all times – even during football season.
• I promise to love you even as you scroll endlessly though Netflix without actually picking something to watch.
• I promise to love you for eternity and to trust you with my credit card.
• I promise to love you through Ikea, be it during the buying or assembly of furniture procured therein.
• I promise to love you, honor you, but not obey because that’s a little creepy.”
• I promise to make you a bacon sandwich when you’re hungover.
• I promise to never keep score, even when I’m clearly winning.
• I promise to never watch the next episode on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to.
• I promise to put up with your favourite TV shows if you put up with mine…and yes this does include Love Island.”