Funny Thanksgiving Quotes For A Smile: Thanksgiving Day is here again, the beginning of the most wonderful time of year. It is a time for gathering with friends and family over delicious home-cooked meals. Also, it’s a day set out for gratitude, for giving thanks for all that we have with the people who mean so much.
To celebrate this comforting holiday, we’ve rounded up the best hilarious thanksgiving quotes to spice up the spirit of the season. These thanksgiving quotes are not only funny, silly and humorous but they will make you laugh and at the same time feel thankful and more.
Short Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that. –Howie Mandel
Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home. –Melanie White
When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup. –Sam Lefkowitz
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. –Jim Davis
Thanksgiving Quotes Funny
Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. –P. J. O’Rourke
America has developed a pie tradition unequivocally and unapologetically at the sweet end of the scale, and at no time is this better demonstrated than at Thanksgiving. –Janet Clarkson
Preparing and serving food had always been a joy, for it made her appreciate the abundance of the world. –Elizabeth Camden
So what do we do? We do what all families do. Grin, bear it, and pass the mashed potatoes. –Heather Brewer
In November, people are good to each other. They carry pies to each other’s homes and talk by crackling woodstoves, sipping mellow cider. They travel very far on a special November day just to share a meal with one another and to give thanks for their many blessings – for the food on their tables and the babies in their arms. –Cynthia Rylant
What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? –Erma Bombeck
Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It’s a national tradition. –Eric Samuel Timm, Static Jedi
For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag. –Andy Borowitz
Thanksgiving Funny Quotes
We all can ‘act’ a certain way for a brief period of time, for instance, on Thanksgiving, who of us hasn’t had to ‘act’ like we just loved everyone at the table? This brief show of good behavior is not true character. Our character is who we are when no one is looking. –Becky Van Volkinburg
Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. –Stephen Colbert
It’s not too much food. This is what we’ve been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour. –Lorelai Gilmore
I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it. –Robert Brault
I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. –Craig Ferguson
Positive Thanksgiving Quotes Funny
Real ballplayers pass the stuffing by rolling it up in a ball and batting it across the table with a turkey leg. –Tom Swyers
We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. –Thornton Wilder
The funny thing about Thanksgiving ,or any big meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook, chop, braise and blanch. Then it’s gone in 20 minutes and everybody lies around sort of in a sugar coma and then it takes 4 hours to clean it up. –Ted Allen
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. –Ambrose Bierce
Once you start practicing being grateful and thankful for things, people, and events, you may notice that you start to attract more positive things, people, and events in your life. –Stephanie Conkle
Thanksgiving – fall’s finale. Best damn holiday of the year in my worldly estimation. –Carew Papritz
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
Turkey for the girls and Turkey for the boys. My favorite kind of pants are corduroys. Gobble gobble goo and Gobble gobble gickel. I wish turkey only cost a nickel. Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving everybody! –Adam Sandler
Thanksgiving is the holiday that encompasses all others. All of them, from Martin Luther King Day to Arbor Day to Christmas to Valentine’s Day, are in one way or another about being thankful. –Jonathan Safran Foer
If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch you must first invent the universe. –Carl Sagan
Thanksgiving is America’s favorite holiday because it’s a time when we put aside our cares, much as the struggling Pilgrims did nearly four centuries ago, and eat a gut-busting meal without worrying about the ‘out years.’ –David Ignatius
A thought about Thanksgiving Day: Once, there was this day… this one day when… everyone realized they needed each other. –April Burns
Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas; a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour. –Augusten Burroughs
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go baste the turkey and hide the kitchen knives. –Mrs. Pascal