Funny Mother’s Day Quotes

funny quotes for happy mothers day-mom

Fun filled Mother’s Day Quotes: Mother’s Day is a day set aside to honor our mothers and most important woman in our lives. Let her know just how greatly she is appreciated. It is celebrated on different days in many parts of the world, most commonly in the months of March or May.

While crafting your Mother’s Day message to your loving mom, you might want to add a little humor to it. These funny sayings and quotes listed below can be put into a memorable morning text, email or paired with flowers.

Mother’s Day Quotes Funny

“In the end, mothers are always right. No one else tells the truth.” —Randy Susan Meyers

“God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.” —Rudyard Kipling

“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children!” —Sam Levenson

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”— Calvin Trillin

“Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.” —William Feather

“If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way Mom told you to in the beginning.” —Unknown

“My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate.” —Unknown

“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” — Tenneva Jordan

“We have a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.” —Laura Stavoe Harm

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then, I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller

“Any mother could do the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease” —Lisa Alther

“If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands?” —Milton Berle

“There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.” —Chinese Proverb

“Mom, I love you, even though I’ll never accept your friend request.” —Unknown

“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” —Tenneva Jordan

“An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.” —Spanish Proverb

“Dear mom, thank you for keeping all the bad stuff i did from dad.”

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“Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.” —Unknown

Hilarious Mother’s Day Quotes

“Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.” —Unknown

“It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish…” —Carrie Underwood

“If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?” —Milton Berle

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” —Erma Bombeck

“If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children’.” —Susan Savannah

“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” —Erma Bombeck

“Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.” —Unknown

“The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.” —John J. Plomp

“The days are long, but the years are short.”—Gretchen Rubin

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” —Buddy Hackett

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.” —Ambrose Bierce

“A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.”—Peter De Vries

“Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it.” —Robert Brault

“It is never easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” —Unknown

Funny Mother’s Day Quotes

“Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.” —Unknown

“A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or two we don’t even have.” —Robert Brault

“Mom, i love you, even though i’ll never accept your friend request.”

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“No one told me i would be coming home in diapers, too.” — Chrissy Teigen

“Happy mother’s day, mom! (and while i have you, quick apologies for ages 13-21.)”

“A mother is the person you can always call to see how long chicken lasts in the fridge.”

“It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” —Dorothy on The Golden Girls

“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” —Erma Bombeck

“The phrase ’working mother’ is redundant.” —Jane Sellman

Daughter: “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?” Mom: “I don’t know honey, you’ll have to ask Grandma.”

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest. — Spanish Proverb

“My Mother Had a Great Deal of Trouble with Me, But I Think She Enjoyed It.” — Mark Twain

“Mom: I Love You And Your Super Long Voicemails.” —Unknown

“My Mother’s Menu Consisted of Two Choices: Take It or Leave It.” — Buddy Hackett

“There’s Something Really Empowering about Going, ‘Hell, I Can Do This! I Can Do This All!’ That’s The Wonderful Thing about Mothers, You Can Because You Must, and You Just Do.” — Kate Winslet

“Motherhood. It Takes Patience, Humor And A Lot Of Wet Towelettes.” —Unknown

“Motherhood: Feeding Them as A Baby and Then through Most of Their Twenties.” —Unknown

“There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.” —Chinese Proverb

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all!” —Unknown

“Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.” —Mignon McLaughlin

“Motherhood: Powered By Love. Sustained By Wine.” —Unknown

“Silence Is Golden. Unless You Have Kids. Then Silence Is Just Suspicious.” —Unknown

Funny Mother’s Day Quotes
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