Jokes About Cat: Cats are hilarious by nature with their mischievous antics, so it should come as no surprise that there are loads of great cat jokes out there for one to enjoy with friends.
Whether you are looking for cheesy one-liners to share with your friends and family or knock-knock jokes that would cause even grumpy cat to crack a smile, we’ve got them all here. We have compiled funny Cat Jokes And Puns, Bad Cat Jokes, Dirty Cat Jokes, Knock Knock Cat Jokes, Cat Questions And Answers Jokes and more, that will keep you laughing for a long time.
Cat Jokes One-liner
Cats are like cookies… You can never have just one.
Cats ears are built to allow the human voice to go in one ear and out the other.
Cats spend half their life asleep and the other half making viral videos.
Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners but catscan.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween… now he won’t come when I call him.
I had to get rid of my boyfriend, he was allergic to cats.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.
If sleeping were an Olympic sport, my cat would win gold.
If the Earth was flat, cats would push everything off it.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods… They have not forgotten.
Letting the cat out of the bag is easier than putting it back in.
Funny Cat Puns
Fur real = for real
That cat just gave me the stink eye, are they fur real?!
Purrfect = perfect
To me, you are purrfect.
Feline = feeling
How’s your cat today?
He’s feline fine!
Pawsible = possible
Anything is pawsible!
Hissterical = hysterical
Did you see the latest episode of 8 Out of 10 Cats? It was hissterical!
Kitten me = kidding me
My cat just brought me another dead mouse; you’ve got to be kitten me!
Clawful = awful
My cat thinks my singing is just clawful.
Mewsic
What’s a cat favourite movie? The Sound of Mewsic!
Meowntain = Mountain
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowntain!
Paws = Pause
Now there’s some paws for thought!
Knock Knock Cat Jokes Funny
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans off my kitten!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claws.
Claws who?
Claws the door, it’s cold!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kitten.
Kitten, who?
Quit kitten around and open the door.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cat.
Cat who?
Cat you understand!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kitten.
Kitten who?
Quit kitten around and let me in!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Catskills.
Catskills who?
Catskills mice!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Neil.
Neil who?
Neil down and pet this cat!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claw
Claw who?
Claw Enforcement, you have the right to remain silent.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Catsup.
Catsup who?
Catsup a tree and won’t come down!
Hilarious Cat Jokes
Q: Before a cat fight, what is usually said?
A: “Hold my purrse.”
Q: Before going after a mouse, what did the dad cat say to his family?
A: “Let us prey.”
Q: Did you hear about the cat who won the lottery?
A: He was ecs-Cat-ic.
Q: Did you see the feline stand up comic?
A: They were Hiss-terical.
Q: What do you call a cat who does the bare minimum?
A: A Mere-cat.
Q: What kind of boats do cats like the most?
A: A CAT- amaran
Q: How can a cat uplift a depressed audience?
A: By becoming a meowtivational speaker.
Bad Cat Jokes Funny
Q: How did one cat break up with another?
A: She said, “We’re hisstory!”
Q: How did the abandoned kitty feel when she got a kitten home?
A: Her life felt purrr-fect now.
Q: How did the cat celebrate his second birthday?
A: He threw a huge paw-ty.
Q: How did the cat comic know he was funny?
A: The audience was meow-ling with laughter.
Q: How did the litter of cats celebrate their success at the game?
A: They did so by having a glass of purr-seco each.
Q: How did the Mom Cat know she was pregnant?
A: Her test was pawsitive.
Q: How did they know the cat was an excellent fencer?
A: He was Sabre-tooth
Q: How do cat owners know their cat has a good influence on their life?
A: Their cats motivate them to remain paw-sitive in every situation.
Q: How do cats efficiently maintain law and order?
A: By proper Claw Enforcement.
Q: How do cats greet each other?
A: By saying, “Have a mice day!”
Q: How do Cats organize their books?
A: They use a Cat-alouge.
Q: How do cats stop crimes?
A: They call claw enforcement!
Q: How do male cats call female cats to express their love?
A: They say how purr-ty she looks.
Q: How do two cats end a fight?
A: They hiss and make up!
Q: How do you find a cat owner who is obsessed with her cat?
A: They would always keep their cat be-fur anyone else.
Q: How do you know a cat is agitated?
A: He’s having a hissy fit!
Q: How do you sort cats into groups?
A: You put them into Cat-orgiries
Funny Cat Q&A Jokes
Q: How does a cat always gets its way so easily?
A: Because cats are very purr-suasive.
Q: How does a cat boil water?
A: They use a Cat-tle.
Q: How does a cat decide what he needs to buy at a store?
A: By referring to the catalog.
Q: How does a cat decide what it wants from the store?
A: It flips through the cat-alog!
Q: How does a cat make coffee?
A: In a Purr-culator.
Q: How does a cat sing scales?
A: Do-re-mew!
Q: How does a cat smell good all the time?
A: When the cat uses a purr-fume.
Q: How does the cat spend most of his free time?
A: By listening to mew-sic.
Q: How for the cat get a promotion at work?
A: They were Puss-istant
Q: How is a cat similar to a coin?
A: Both have heads on one side and tails on the other.
Q: How is cat food sold?
A: Usually, purr the can!
Dirty Cat Jokes
Q: How would a cat propose to his girlfriend?
A: He said, “Let us get meow-rried!”
Q: How did one cat break up with another?
A: She said, “We’re hisstory!”
Q: How did the abandoned kitty feel when she got a kitten home?
A: Her life felt purrr-fect now.
Q: How did the cat celebrate his second birthday?
A: He threw a huge paw-ty.
Q: How did the cat comic know he was funny?
A: The audience was meow-ling with laughter.
Q: How did the litter of cats celebrate their success at the game?
A: They did so by having a glass of purr-seco each.
Q: How did the Mom Cat know she was pregnant?
A: Her test was pawsitive.
Q: In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest?
A: When it’s raining cats and dogs!
Q: In which state do we find a lot of dogs and cats?
A: In Petsylvania.
Q: What are cat cops called in the cat world?
A: The Paw-lease.
Q: What cat was a member of King Arthur’s round table?
A: Sir Lance-Ocelot.
Q: What color do kittens love the most?
A: Purrple.
Q: What delicacy do dogs love?
A: Cat Loaf and Clowder
Q: What did one cat say while her friend was complaining?
A: “Tail me about it.”
Q: What did the cat call himself when he started living in an igloo in a European country?
A: An eski-mew.
Q: What did the cat do to his baby on long trips?
A: She made him wear a dia-purr.
Q: What did the cat exclaim when the mouse he was chasing got away?
A: You have got to be kitten me.
Q: What did the cat say to the cow?
A: How Meow brown cow.
Q: What did the cat say to the vet when she went for her checkup?
A: I am not feline good!
Q: What did the cat say when it was confused?
A: “I’m purr-plexed!”
Q: What did the cat say when she got stuck in the hole?
A: Help meow-t!
Q: What did the cats do when they realized they had a bad plan?
A: They decided to (cat)nip it in the bud.
Q: What did the cat’s mother say to her when she was rude?
A: She asked her to be paw-lite.
Q: What did the doctor say when the cat complained of a back pain?
A: He said his paw-sture was incorrect.
Q: What did the kitten have at their birthday party?
A: A pounce house.
Q: What did the mama cat to the cat when she birth to six cute puppies?
A: Con-cat-ulations!
Q: What did the mom and dad cat say about their wedding day?
A: “It was unfurrgetable!”
Q: What did the mom cat say about her intuition?
A: “I just had a strong feline.”
Q: What did the mother cat say to her children?
A: Stop kitten-ing around.
Q: What did the sick cat say?
A: “I feel clawful!”
Q: What did the thug cat’s friends call him when he got caught by the police?
A: They called him a pur-patrator.
Q: What do baby cats always wear?
A: Diapurrs!
Q: What do cats call a big pile of laundry?
A: A meowtain to climb.
Q: What do cats call a nice dinner?
A: “A fancy feast.”
Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies!
Q: What do cats keep in their homes?
A: Furr-niture.
Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
A: A mice-cream cone!
Q: What do cats like to eat on summer days?
A: Mice-cream.
Q: What do cats look for in a significant other?
A: A great purrsonality.
Q: What do cats love to do in the morning?
A: Read the mewspaper!
Q: What do cats put on their French fries?
A: Catsip.
Q: What do cats use to make coffee?
A: A purr-colator!
Q: What do you call a cat sitting on a leaf?
A: A Cat-apillar.
Q: What do you call a cat that is tortoiseshell and white colored?
A: Calico-ordinated.
Q: What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
A: A puss in boots!
Q: What do you call a cat who became a doctor?
A: “A first aid kitten.”
Q: What do you call a cat who lives in an igloo?
A: An eskimew!
Q: What do you call a cat who loves to bowl?
A: An alley cat!
Q: What do you call a cat who starts something?
A: A Cat-alyst.
Q: What do you call a cat who wears shoes?
A: Puss in boots.
Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs?
A: An Octo-pussy.
Q: What do you call a feline chimney sweep?
A: A cat on a hot tin roof.
Q: What do you call a large group of cats?
A: Cat-tle.
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?
A: A meowntain!
Q: What do you call cats that fall over a cliff?
A: A Cats-cade.
Q: What do you call it when a cat is super-stylish?
A: “Haute-cat-ture.”
Q: What does a cat do every morning while sipping on tea?
A: Read the mewspaper.
Q: What does a cat do every time it feels sick and needs medicines?
A: The cat goes to the fur-macy.
Q: What does a cat do when he does not feel too well?
A: He goes to a purr-amedic.
Q: What does a cat do when it gets really agitated?
A: It starts throwing a hissy fit.
Q: What does a cat eat before it’s main meal?
A: A Mouse-bouche.
Q: What does a cat like the most about Egypt?
A: They like the purr-amids the most.
Q: What does a cat like to do on vacations?
A: Visit the meow-seum.
Q: What does a cat like wearing at night to sleep?
A: Paw-jamas.
Q: What does a choir of cats like to sing?
A: “Do-Re-Mew.”
Q: What does the cat say after making a joke?
A: “Just kitten!”
Q: What does the kitten’s mother do to make her sleep at night?
A: She reads out some furry tale to her.
Q: What does the musical cat want to be when he grows up?
A: A purr-cussionist.
Q: What happens when you keep too many animals together?
A: They fight like cats and dogs.
Q: What happens when you tame a wildcat?
A: They become a mildcat.
Q: What is a cat most excited about during Christmas?
A: Receiving gifts from Santa Claws
Q: What is a cat who pretends a lot called?
A: A pawser.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite chocolate?
A: Kit kat.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite color?
A: Purr-ple.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite day of the week?
A: Cat-urday.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite dessert?
A: Chocolate mouse.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite Mexican dish?
A: Purr-ito.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite movie?
A: The Sound of Mewsic!
Q: What is a cat’s favorite novel to read?
A: ‘The Great Catsby’.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Three Blind Mice.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite season?
A: It’s pawtumn.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite vegetable?
A: It is definitely as-purr-agus.
Q: What is a pile of cats called?
A: A meow-tain.