Funny Ape Jokes For Laughs

Funny Ape Jokes--tealsmiles

For lots of laugh for animal lovers these monkey puns are so ape-solutely funny, they are perfect when monkeying around with your prime-mates.

Hilarious Ape Jokes To Make You Laugh

Q: Do Apes kiss?
A: Yes, but never on the first date!

Q: What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?
A: Ape Suzettes!

Q: How did Gertie Gorilla make the ‘Playboy’ Calendar?
A: She was ‘Miss Ape

Q: How do you make an Ape float?
A: Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

Q: How does a Gorilla become another animal?
A: When a Mafia don hires a ‘big Gorilla’ to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!

Q: How do you make an Ape laugh?
A: Tell it a whale of a tale!

Q: What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper?

A: Listen baby, I think I’m falling for you!

Q: What did the great Ape shout to the pilots who tried to shoot him off the skyscraper?
A: Listen, hotshots, don’t monkey around with me!

Q: If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in a bedroom, what do you have?
A: A very large bedroom.

Q: If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great Lakes, what will it become?
A: Wet!

Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A ape with a machine gun.

Q: Why are apes so noisy?
A: They were raised in a zoo!

Q: How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper?
A: The elevator was broken!

Q: What do you call an ape with a hat and wand?
A: Hairy potter.

Q: What do baby apes sleep in?
A: Ape-ricots!

Q: What’s the first thing an ape learns in school?
A: The ape b c’s!

Q: When do monkeys fall from the sky?
A: During ape-ril showers.

Q: Why did the ape fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.

Q: Why don’t the apes in the jungle play poker any more?
A: There are just too many Cheetahs.

Q: What do you call an exploding ape?
A: A baboom.

Q: Which sea will make you go ape?
A: The chimpan-sea!

Q: What is a ape’s favorite cookie?
A: Chocolate chimp!

Q: What does a Ape attorney study?
A: The Law of the jungle!

Q: What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?
A: I can’t help it – she brings out the beast in me!

Q: What happened when the Ape won the door prize?
A: He didn’t take it – he already had a door!

Q: What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus?
A: You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!

Q: What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes?
A: A banana split!

Q: When did the Apes start to picket the cookie factory?
A: The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

Q: When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree, where did the Ape hiding in the uppermost branches land?
A: Nearby – the Ape-lle doesn’t fall far from the tree!

Q: Why did the monkey put a net over its head?
A: It wanted to catch its breath.

Q: Today I learnt that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey!

Q: What is a monkey’s favourite dance move?
A: The banana split.

Q: Why did the monkey take its banana to the doctors?
A: It wasn’t peeling good.

Q: What do you call a monkey flying in the sky?
A: A hot air baboon!

Q: Which side of a monkey has more hair?
A: The outside.

Q: What happens when you double cross a monkey?
A: They go bananas.

Q: What do you call a monkey at the south pole?
A: Lost!

Q: If there were no bananas, what fruit would monkeys choose?
A: Ape-ricots.

Q: Why did the monkey cross the road?
A: Because the chicken had the day off.

Q: What kind of monkey sounds like a sheep?
A: A baaa-boon.

Q: What do you call a crowd of monkeys?
A: An Orangatangle.

Q: Why do monkeys carry their babies on their backs?
A: Because it’s too hard dragging a buggy up those trees.

Q: What happens when monkeys gets fleas?
A: Lunch!

Q: What is a monkeys favourite Christmas song?
A: Jungle Bells.

Q: Why did King Kong climb the Empire State building?
A: Because he couldn’t fit in the lift.

Q: What d’you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
A: Anything you like, it won’t be able to hear you!

Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George.

Q: What do you call a man who can jump from tree to tree?
A: A monkey’s uncle.

Q: What do you call a monkey with a wand and a broomstick?
A: Hairy Potter

Q: Which author do the Gorillas love most?
A: Joh Steinbeck – who wrote ‘The Apes of Wrath!’

Q: Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?
A: The Naked Ape!

Q: Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by an Ape jumping off a tall building?
A: Fall-adelphia!

Q: Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?
A: An ape-ricot sour!

Q: Which technique does a Ape borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A: The bear hug!

Q: Who is the Apes favourite President of recent years?
A: Hairy Truman!

Q: Why couldn’t the Ape pitcher make it in the major leagues?
A: His balk was worse than his bite!

Q: Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?
A: Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Q: Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent?
A: The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Q: Why did the Gorilla fail English?
A: He had little Ape-titude!

Q: Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?
A: It’s dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

Q: What do apes do when they’re mad at each other?
A: They have a Gorilla war!

Q: Why did the ape go to the doctor?
A: Because his banana wasn’t peeling very well!

Q: What do monkeys read?
A: The ‘apers

Q: What’s an apes favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.

Q: What do monkeys wear when they are cooking?
A: Ape-rons!

Q: How do apes get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!

Q: What do apes do when they go mad?
A: Go bananas!

Q: Where do chimpanzees keep their babies?
A: In apricots!

Q: What do you call a ape playing quidditch?

A: A hairy potter!!

Q: What’s a ape’s favourite pop group?
A: Bananarama!

Q: What is a ape’s favourite toy?
A: A Bab-boom-orang!

Q: What do you call six green apes?
A: A bunch of gr-apes!

Q: What sort of key does a ape need to open a banana?
A: A monk-key!

Q: What did the monkey say to the other monkey that went mad?
A: You’ve gone completely ape!

Q: Where do apes like to get their hair cut?
A: Vidal Baboon!

Q: Why do apes tell such bad stories?
A: Because they have no tales!

Q: Why do apes have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.

Q: Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head?
A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!

Q: What’s a monkey’s favourite type of computer?
A: an Ape-le mac!

Q: What’s a monkey’s favourite fruit?
A: An ape-le!

Q: What did the banana say to the ape?
A: Nothing, bananas don’t talk!

Funny Ape Jokes For Laughs