Funny Fish Puns and Jokes To Crack Your Ribs: There’s nothing fishy about these jokes about fish! for a good game night with friends. From Bass to Zebra Fish.
Do you try to think of good fish puns, but just flounder? Well, the bait is over. We have the best collection of funny fish questions and answers joke, hilarious fish jokes for kids, fish one liners and fish puns joke right here. Safe for kids, funny for anyone!
Funny Fish One-Liners Joke
Two fish swam into a concrete wall, one turns to the other and says “Dam!”
There was a massive fight today at the fish restaurant. One fish got battered!
Yesterday I had a cup of coffee with a penguin. He said he would have preferred a fish.
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says “How do you drive this thing?”
There was a sale today at the fish market, so I went to see what the catch was.
Fish Pun Jokes
- Cod that was bad, eely bad!
- Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself!
- I’m stuck between a rock and a hard plaice now!
- All I sea are bass-icaly cod awful puns!
- Fishcious rumors.
- Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to mullet over?
- Are you trying to gill-t me into thinking of a better pun?
- Stop carping on; you’re giving me a haddock.
- This is a big issue a-monk fishermen.
- Ahh guys, you’re krilling me now!
- We’re swimming along nicely.
- Seems a bit fishy to me.
- Salmon had to say it.
- Or you’re so sofishticated!
- Oh for Gods hake, not another fish pun.
- Not bad, cod do better…
- It’s a great oppor-tuna-ty!
- Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
- Most fish will tell you they like their food cold, and their bait a little worm.
- Anyone else want to rise to the bait?
- Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?
- This is going to get a-trout-cious real quick!
Funny Fish Jokes For Kids
Q: Why do fish live in saltwater?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Q: What do fish do at football games?
A: They wave.
Q: What does a fish do in a crisis?
A: Sea-kelp.
Q: What do you call a crayfish with a messy room?
A: A slobster
Q: What do fish use for money?
A: Sand dollars!
Q: What did the fish dating guru say to the hopeful sea bass?
A: “If you’re going for roe-mance, you’ll want to consider the caviar.”
Q: How much money does Gill Gates have?
A: About a gillion dollars.
Q: Why aren’t there every any job openings at the fish company?
A: They’ve been scaling back.
Q: What did one fatty tuna say to the other?
A: “We’re in this together, toro and toro.”
Q: What does the telephone solicitor fish say when the person they’re calling picks up?
A: “Cod I have a moment of your time?”
Q: What do you call a singing fish?
A: A tuna.
Q: Which fish is the biggest tool?
A: A hammerhead shark.
Q: What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A: A seahorse
Q: What do you get when you cross a banker with a hammerhead?
A: A Loan shark!
Q: What do British sea monsters eat?
A: Fish & ships.
Q: What kind of fish do lion fish chase the most?
A: Zebra Fish!
Q: What birthday party game do fish like to play?
A: Salmon Says.
Q: Why don’t fish do well on school tests?
A: Because they work below C-Level.
Q: Why did the squid cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide.
Q: Why are fish so well educated?
A: They swim in schools!
Q: Where does a fish keep his money
A: In the River Bank!
Q: How do fish know their weight?
A: They have scales.
Q: Where do you weigh whales?
A: At the whale-weigh station!
Q: What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A: You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.
Q: Why do oysters go to the gym?
A: It’s good for the mussel.
Q: Who held the baby octopus for ransome?
A: Squidnappers!
Hilarious Fish Q&A Jokes
Q: What do you call a fish that has two knees?
A: A tunee fish.
Q: What did the magician say to the fisherman?
A: Pick a cod, any cod!
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Tentacles.
Q: How did the seahorse move so quickly?
A: He scalloped
Q: What kind of food do they serve in saunas?
A: Steamed mussels.
Q: What was the name of the fish that destroyed Japan?
A: Codzilla.
Q: Who keeps the ocean clean?
A: Mermaids
Q: Did you know that sharks can also squirt ink?
A: Just Squidding!
Q: Where do teachers send fish who misbehave?
A: To the Offish
Q: What was the Russia Tsar’s favorite type of fish?
A: Tsardines!
Q: What is the best way to get in touch with a fish?
A: Drop it a line
Q: What is the most valuable type of fish?
A: A goldfish
Q: Why did the fish go to Hollywood?
A: He wanted to be a starfish!
Q: Where do fish sleep?
A: On a water bed.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?
A: Fssshh
Q: Where do bass wash up?
A: A river basin!
Q: What kind of fish chase mice?
A: Catfish.
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish!
Q: What do you call a fish in a tuxedo?
A: Very soFISHticated
Q: Which fish work in hospitals?
A: Sturgeons
Q: Why do fish companies never work?
A: They always have to scale back.
Q: Why do fish not go to war
A: Because they are paci-fish-ts.
Q: What did the fish say when everyone left his party?
A: Tanks for coming!
Q: What type of music is best to listen to while fishing?
A: Something catchy!
Q: Why do fish always lose their court cases?
A: They are always gill-ty.
Q: Why can’t fish have romantic relationships?
A: They are scared of intima-sea.
Q: Why are fish so lucky?
A: They seize every oppor-tuna-ty.
Q: What did Dorothy the fish say?
A: There’s no plaice like home.
Q: Where do fish store their money?
A: In a river bank.
Q: Why did the fish start a charity?
A: He was reely good at findraising.
Q: Why don’t fish go into business together
A: They are always sole traders.
Q: What makes fish terrible journalists?
A: They always spread hake news.
Q: What did the fish take to work?
A: A b-reef-case.
Q: What’s the laziest fish in the world?
A: A Kipper.
Q: Why did the shopkeeper through the clams out?
A: They were past their shell-by-date.
Q: Why will fish never take responsibility?
A: Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
Q: What type of instrument do fish love to play?
A: A bass drum.
Q: Why should you never fight an octopus?
A: Because he’s too well armed.
Q: What did the fish say when his relationship started to flounder?
A: Halibut we chat about it?
Q: What does a fish wear to keep warm?
A: A shoal!
Q: Why is a fisherman so stingy?
A: Because his work made him sell-fish.
Q: What did the romantic fisherman want?
A: A gill-friend.
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: They live in schools.
Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: Because the sea-weed!
Q: Who do fish pray to?
A: Cod Almighty.
Q: What fish travels 100 mph?
A: A motor pike.
Q: Where did Noah keep all of the fish?
A: In the multi-story carp ark.
Q: Did you hear about the fight in that restaurant?
A: Four fish were battered!
Q: Which fish go to heaven?
A: Angelfish.
Q: Where do sick fish go?
A: To see a sturgeon.
Q: Why did the little boy not eat his sushi?
A: Because it looked too fishy.
Q: What did a shark eat with its peanut butter sandwich?
A: A jellyfish.
Q: Why did the fish get bad grades?
A: Because it was below sea level.
Q: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
A: Something with a good tune-a!
Q: How do shellfish get to the hospital?
A: In a clambulance.
Q: What did the shark say after eating a clownfish?